The Corner

I hate that corner of the room. 

The steps and decisions that led to that statement are varied, but they are real and deeply felt.  It’s odd that different senses are involved too.  So I hate that certain area because of the sights, sounds and smells associated with it.  And the thoughts.  And that action.  I still remember the first time I entered that corner knowing about this disdain that was stirring in me.  I didn’t want to go in that corner!  But I knew I had to.

Dad started hospice care at home on a Monday in early April.  Within a few days, we had more literature about end-of-life realities than I thought possible.  Or helpful.  So much information was actually too much information.  Probably didn’t help that I really didn’t want to learn, let alone use, this material.  Especially the content about those four medications.  Now I like a nice and tidy spreadsheet.  And an easy grid could be created to assist in decision making as to when and how to administer those drugs.  Or not to do so.  Hopefully not.

When we reviewed those instructions, it was noted that these four pharmaceutical gems had a range of potency and severity.  In fact, we were told to store them in a safe place.  Not a dry place or a cool place, but a safe one.  I guess there’s a market for such elixirs.  And with a parade of people coming and going providing services and other visitors, well, you can’t be too careful.  So I made the decision to ‘hide’ the box of medications in that corner.  Behind the big television and in an unlabeled container.  And when I put it there, I did so muttering a prayer about never entering that corner for a good long while, if ever.

Weeks went by.  Could even count the time in months.  That room was the center of much activity.  Every activity actually.  Eat.  Sleep. Visit. Chat. Watch. Review.  Consider.  Discuss. Decide. Bathe.  And all else that you can imagine.  But that certain area was never entered or approached.  Though things were changing, and not for the better in most cases, the call from the corner never came.  Adjustments in care were made for sure.  Stop doing this and change the way we did that.  But no triggers that would send us off to the in-home pharmacy.

It was just after lunch on June 22.  Dammit, it was a Sunday.  June 22.  I kinda’ hate that day too.  Something was eerily different.  I sat on the couch facing the hospital bed that filled the living room.  I saw, heard and even caught a whiff of things that told me that a certain action may be needed.  As I observed this deterioration, I knew that…NO!  Not that corner!  Not those instructions! Not this drastic step!  If we went down that path, I knew the clock would begin on the EOL timing.  Once you start on those meds…

There have been a few times in my life when I felt really tired.  Like my legs couldn’t move tired.  Heavy legs.  Not sure I can even walk tired.  A super intense soccer practice.  A super long day of yardwork.  A super high blood sugar.  But that first trip to the corner behind the TV was easily the hardest six or seven steps I’ve ever taken.  NO, not that corner!  I had to steady myself multiple times just to make my way there.  Sick to my stomach.  Is there ANY other way?  Is this REALLY what we need to do? I hate that corner of the room.

I know that Dad was helped by the level 1 (my term) med that we started at 1:38 PM.  And the level 2 med that followed later that evening.  That spreadsheet was accurate.  When ABC happens and DEF characteristics show themselves, apply solution 123.  I get it. I just didn’t like that my daily log started looking like ‘4:15-tomato soup, 8:30-ice cream, 9:15-lorazepam’ and ’11:00-haloperidol, 1:45-soup and pop, 8:45-ice cream, 9:15-lorazepam’.  Yeah, liquids and softs only.  He couldn’t chew.  And the meds could just dissolve for the most part.  God how I hated going to that corner.

Though using the contents of that corner were now part of the common daily routine, I still kept them tucked away back there.  In the corner.  I’d like to say that it got easier to visit that area to retrieve the next dose, but it wasn’t.  Always with a fair amount of reluctance and with weighty, tired legs and a lump in my throat.  We last visited that area about 6:00 AM eleven days later.  Dad would have no need for the meds in a few hours.  

Around 10:40 or so, he moved to a new room with a new corner.  THAT room is filled with the presence not of a bed, but a throne.  The throne of the Great Healer.  And in the corner of that room?  Nothing hidden or unlabeled.  Dad is one of the ‘fellow citizens…of the household of God…Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone” (Ephesians 2:19-20).  The sights, sounds and smells in that corner are beautiful beyond description.  No hesitation.  No reluctance.  No heavy legs. No morphine.  No regretful daily logs.  No muttered prayers. 

Oh, how I love that corner of that room!

What Christmas Means to Me - 2025 version

Christmas is a time for crying.  As I walk through Yuletide-ness this particular year, that reality hits a little differently since dad’s passing on July 2.  The flag waving of early July was numbing.  First birthday without him in October.  First Thanksgiving with that empty seat.  We actually ate at a different table this year so we wouldn’t have that stark reality front and center.  Seasonal red and green decorations still missing as the purple and yellow permanent flowers we chose for the funeral adorn the mantle (Skol Vikings!).  So…a bit of crying this Christmas.

But that’s usually the case for me.  Has been for me for a while now.  Crying.  Crying out.  I know for many, this time of year means quaint snowy hillsides and a quiet swaddled infant, but I think desperation and chaos are more apt.  Silent night not so much.  The incarnation is a celebration of unexpectedly and powerfully answered prayer.  A final, fulfilling response to a yearning too deep for words.  

This year found me spending some quality time with words in the book of Psalms.  These poems and songs cross the spectrum of emotions and longings.  That was more than appropriate for me and 2025.  The psalms have previously been, and still are, a bit mysterious to me.  Because the content is so gut-level and raw in many passages, it’s difficult for me to embrace.  Kind of just want to hide from the realness of it and of life.  Then, you do some living.  And you see some dying.  You do some living and see some dying and suddenly the bluntness of the Psalms makes a little more sense.  As I get older, some of those harsh and abrupt expressions find a home.  They catch my ear…and my soul.  And like a sky canvassed by an angel choir, I was amazingly confronted with a great truth.  A theme had developed in my journey through Psalms as a key characteristic of God was heralded.  The volume of this proclamation hit its apex in mid-August.

An odd little thing happened to me a few times about then.  And it suddenly got a bit more concerning.  It only took place in one room and only at one particular time of day.  As I would be getting ready for bed, I would experience episodes of vertigo.  Never had it before in any form. But for a few days, it was like clockwork.  Spinning room for five to ten seconds and after I laid down, it was fine.  Until it wasn’t.  One night, the spinning wouldn’t stop.  Lay down, spinning.  Close my eyes, spinning.  Deep breaths, spinning.  Every movement I made, or didn’t make, led to more spinning.  Like David dodging spears aimed directly at him or Asaph bemoaning the circumstances that surround him, I just… reacted.  Reacted with something impulsive.  Something hasty and impassioned.    

That particular morning, I had found myself in Psalm 34.  And that morning’s reading became that day’s meditation and then became my evening’s urgently repeated cry to counteract my intense vertigo onset.  Verse 17 tells us that “when the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears…”.  And that right there is a truth that calms spinning rooms and soothes wayward hearts.

The Lord hears.

The Lord hears.

Praise God!  The Lord hears.

That August evening, THIS poor man cried out, and the Lord heard ME and saved ME out of MY trouble (verse 6).  It’s not just that after chanting that truth out loud over and over again, the vertigo vanished.  It was more than that.  The trouble of spinning was gone, but so too was the trouble of anxiety and worry about it.  The concern of wondering if walking through that circumstance in particular, and life in general, would be a solo venture was removed.  The struggle of trudging through another day without sensing in a tangible way the steadfast love of God that fills the pages of the Psalms was no more.  My room stopped spinning and my heart was being pursued.  A cry answered.

After that, the vertigo never returned.  Only had it those few times over the course of a week or so.  But that truth stuck with me.  And if you allow yourself to dwell on that truth a bit, like a Psalmist, you uncover more gems.  If the Lord hears, then we can conclude that He understands. (He doesn’t just HEAR, He LISTENS!)  And if He understands, then His character demands that He will act.  God is an initiator.  He is all about looking, hearing, remembering, relenting, and causing (see Psalm 106:44-46).  He will act in such a way that His glory and our good is known and experienced. Yes, even in one of THOSE situations.  Even in THAT circumstance. 

Think back on the last few weeks or months or years.  What made your room or your world spin?  Painful as it may be, name it.  Note it.  Remember it.  Place yourself again in that atmosphere or that place or that time.  And then cry out.  Cry for help.  Just cry.  The Lord hears.

The Lord hears.

The Lord hears.

Praise God!  The Lord hears.

The interesting, and confusing and frustrating, thing is that what happens next doesn’t always look like success.  King David cried out, but his son still died.  The people of God cried out, but were still taken captive.  Justice cries out, but the enemy still shows evidence of progress.  But that is where the beauty of the Christmas season shines forth.  What we celebrate with Christ’s birth is not just what happened NEXT.  It is more than just the NEXT step in the ongoing story of life.  It is the FINAL one.  With the birth of Jesus, the full answer to humanity’s cry is given.  And along with his life, death, resurrection, ascension, and coming return, there is a completeness to our story with Christ.  A final answer to our many cries.  The subsequent carnage of our spinning lives meets its end.

Every year about this time, a phrase jumps out from a Christmas carol or other seasonal song that lingers with me.  Cuts to the heart of the gospel truth of Christmas.  In years past, that has included things like “be near me Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay”, “He comes to make His blessings flow far as the curse is found”, “O come O King of nations, bind in one the hearts of all mankind”, “long lay the world in sin and error pining ‘til He appeared and the soul felt it’s worth”, “give me a star” (might need to look that one up…it’s one from the Winans), “passover us” (maybe that one too, it’s from Andrew Peterson), and so many more.  And as you can see, that theme of our crying out, and God graciously answering, frequently makes an appearance as I worship through the season.  Like I said, Christmas to me means crying out.  

This year’s song that keeps rolling the gospel truth of the season around in my mind isn’t really a Christmas song.  It’s a Psalm song.  Verse 1 of Psalm 116 says “I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice…”.  This year, my crying has fueled my love for my Lord.  I pray and trust that your soul too can find rest in knowing that the Lord hears.

The Lord hears.

The Lord hears.

Praise God!  The Lord hears!

New Perspective on an Old Scam

Don't look at me like that. You've received them too.

Send money now. Insert the sad and implausible tale of a unique situation gone awry. Don't forget the foreign angle to play off the 'we-are-Americans-and-nothing-so-odd-and-unfortunate-like-that-could-ever-happen-in-OUR-society' mindset. The massive breakdown of common sense, financial wherewithal and natural human decency all converge to plead with and prey upon the most compassionate and quick-to-act stateside souls.

Yeah, you've received just the email I'm talking about, haven't you? Well, we got one recently. On his way back from Europe and XYZ happened and now my former business/ministry associate needed money wired to him pronto.

Immediately my 'let me handle this' mentality kicked in and I began guffawing as I listed the numerous ways that the story just couldn't hold up. Nice try, buddy. Yes, I had outsmarted this hacker with my logic and was proud of it.

Then the real and far-more-inspiring truth hit me. There was absolutely no way my friend could have sent that email. I'm not sure how good he is at spelling or the status of his grammar skills, but it goes much deeper than that. I read the paragraph again and again. It's what wasn't there that I then saw more clearly.

You see, the supposed emailer and I share a common faith. We've both experienced the miracle of new birth. We both have been saved by grace through faith. Jesus is Savior and Lord and both of us embrace that truth. And as I remembered every interaction I've ever had with this man, I couldn't imagine a scenario in which these characteristics wouldn't be on display. Including an emergency email from a foreign country.

I have been contemplating Matthew 5:16 lately. "Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." I think the best of our actions do exactly that. Somehow, they invite others in the path of those labors to note not how great WE are but instead to look right through us to see how great a God we serve. And I'm not talking about just the do-good activities that generally come to mind with these light-shining functions. It can be done with happenings from feeding the poor to encouraging the downtrodden to...well, simply communicating with others.

It can get to the point like it had with my associate. It was as if he was a walking, talking ambassador here among us of some other kingdom. And that's exactly what he is. As am I. And all believers and followers of Christ as we venture on as pilgrims through this world. It becomes our defining characteristic. It can be seen in unique situations when called upon (like needing a lot of money in an emergency) and in the mundane everyday moments of life (like sending an email). Put those two together, and He still wants to shine through us so others see Him.

Things will happen. Someday, my friend may be caught up in some emergency. His only logical response to it might be to contact his friends and acquaintances and humbly ask for help. But the gospel light within him will phrase that potential email in such a way that I will not be looking just at him and his need but at our common Provider instead. My prayer is that if you interact with me today, you will see the same thing.

Join me in the journey, won't you? Send no money.

Christmas Countdown 2010 - Dec 3

Don't Miss Christmas

I couldn't help but notice a couple of things today in the normal course of events. Here they are:

* did some quick shopping during my lunch break, along with half of Iredell County. As I was strolling out the door, I caught a bit of the song that was playing in the background. "Christ, the Savior is born...Christ, the Savior is born". I stopped for a moment and just marveled at that truth. The gospel being sung and heard in your local store, and I wondered how many paid no attention to it at all. And how many times I have done the same.

* three words: Christmas in Davidson. Friends and festivities in a somewhat Bedford Falls-ish setting. Can't beat that. As we sat through a simple live nativity storytelling time done by one of the local churches, complete with an actual camel and donkeys, I was again struck by the simple yet amazing words that were read and sung. With kids intently looking to see if the baby was real or just a doll, and William asking me to go see the camel again, I noticed that the sound system being used in the parking lot was able to pick up much of the general hub-bub and background noise that the setting provided. And in the midst of it all, there again was the truth of a Savior come to save His people from their sins. Amazing.

So notice that the truth is around us. Don't miss Christmas.

Christmas Countdown 2010 - Dec 2

Decorating the Tree!

Random thoughts about how the Christmas tree gets decorated in these here parts...

1 - since our tree is usually a little Charlie Brown-ish, the picture at left is all that I will post. Needless to say, this year that particular ornament got put near the bottom of the tree.

2 - you know how sometimes when you are a kid, you say to yourself "I am never going to do that when I get older"? And then sometimes you don't but sometimes you do it anyway? Well, one thing that I WILL NEVER DO is put those little iddy biddy silver icicle thingies on a Christmas tree. Maybe it was the time spent painstakingly taking each strand out of storage and placing it equally around all portions of the tree as a child. Maybe it was my sense of laziness that accompanied that particular step in the Christmas prep process. But something years ago gave me the strong desire to NOT use that form of decorations. Proud to say that I have lived up to this one and always will. And let's not even go there regarding having to take them all off the tree and back in storage for another year!

3 - key factor in tree decorating is placement of the tree in relation to the window. Must see yuletide cheer in light form when coming home from work. Our children are well-trained on making sure the lights are on for this to happen.

4 - the 'under the tree' stockpile grows at a decent clip here with two December birthdays in the household.

5 - you kids have fun on your 'lets-go-cut-down-our-own-tree-and-haul-it-home' outing. Been there, done that (and it was fun). But we've resigned ourselves to just getting the box out of the storage area in the garage. Pre-lit, baby!

6 - what to put at the top of the tree? In the past, we've had angels, the cross, a bell one year I think... This year it's a mistletoe sprig.

7 - ah, the Christmas tree...a great opportunity to sing 'O Tannenbaum'...auf Deutsch nachturlich!

My Little Black Book

It is usually a bit of advice that I give to others. This evening, I had the privilege of it's benefit.

Often we fail to take the time to stop and...oh, what's the best word. Evaluate? Consider? Remember? Take stock? Acknowledge? Count your blessings? So, in the midst of 'everything is so (fill in the blank...wrong/crazy/hard/difficult/unfair/depressing/etc)' type of moments, I try to encourage others to look around a bit and see things with a slightly new perspective. Look back a few weeks/months/years and see what progress has been made.

So tonight I started to clean up and organize of bit of my little kingdom of piles-o-stuff around the house. We're having some people over this weekend and, well, I just thought it appropriate to do so. And the pile of papers, books and other items on top of the desk was the first place to tackle. Soon my little black book was uncovered and I started leafing through it.

This 88-cent gem has been used in many varied ways. It has been my source for simple note-taking and thought-jotting-down for a while now. I like it because it is small enough to fit in my pocket easily and therefore is quite mobile when it needs to be. I saw notes on meetings I had attended and pieces of information that just couldn't stay in my mind. Go ahead, see if you can rattle off the model and serial number of your water heater! It is not a foolproof system, however, since one page had a list of phrases that were apparently there to jog my memory for blog post ideas. They look like great titles/ideas, but I'm afraid the inspiration isn't there for the details anymore.

But I did enjoy reminding myself of a number of things that the last few months have produced. Notes on the joyful truth of our covenant-making and covenant-keeping God. Multiple prayer requests from our small group at church that have joyously been answered. Reminders about how to prepare for certain things that were just what I needed to read and hear about now. Insights on a new study/reading/discussion plan that has seen great growth and impact since it started. Key passages and phrases from scripture that redirected my gaze. The word 'thankfulness' attached to one person in particular multiple times and one who I would easily say is characterized by, well, being thankful. And then there's those water heater details that reminded me of a couple of cold, quick showers in the mornings and the subsequent provision of a new and improved and energy-saving water heater!

Life suddenly seems a bit better. A little spring in my step now. The last few months have not been silent. They too have proclaimed a little bit more of our sovereign God's love, care and concern. And for that I am grateful.

If you've got your own little notebook of goodies from the months gone by, go find it and put it in it's right place. That may mean 'off the stack of books and papers' if you haven't cleaned up for a while like me. But it definitely means refreshing your mind and soul with a thankful review.

Seven Weeks and a Towel

It was the woman you gave me, Lord!

So goes the joke that surrounds the events now seven weeks old. And that’s exactly what it is…just a joke. It wasn’t Sarah’s fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Sometimes things happen. And sometimes when those things happen, a bone gets broken.

We were just having fun with our son on the basketball court. In the flash of a moment, legs got tangled and the two of us were going down. Sarah fell gracefully. Me? Not so much.

Ice kept the swelling down long enough to get me to a Sunday afternoon visit to the urgent care. X-rays confirmed that the tip of the radius head bone in my left arm was broken. I’m not sure what goes through your mind when you hear ‘broken arm’, but here’s what goes through mine. Pain and expense and time. But instead of dwelling on the details of what I was thinking at that moment, let’s fast forward to the truth of which I was again graciously reminded.

Healing happens.

Our bodies amazingly not only allow for healing, but actually argue for it. Here is the list of applied remedies and medical assistance for the situation I found myself in: seven weeks and a towel. Well, at least it looked like a towel. Upon concluding that my arm was broken, the helpful nurses and technicians at the local urgent care decided that a towel was the trick. “We’ll just put this on your arm, it will conform to your elbow and forearm, and you’ll be good to go.” Good until the soon-coming appointment with the orthopedic doctor, that is. Here we go, I thought. This was going to be the first of many steps. Surgeries, repeat visits to medical facilities, and more. So they applied the towel thing to my arm and sure enough it hardened a bit and took the shape of my arm and was a temporary cast that I could take on and off until my appointment. But when that came, the surprising commenced.

“No further casting needed.”

“Just keep your arm in the temporary cast as needed throughout the day.”

“Give it a few weeks and it should be fine.”

And then the clincher. “Unless you have some issues or problems, I don’t even think it is necessary to see you again.”

So here we are seven weeks later. I have not spent another penny on any medical needs regarding the arm. I have not had another doctor visit regarding the arm. And the arm is…healing. I’ve been without the towel/cast for a couple of weeks now. What once was extremely painful soon became doable with a wince and then became done as normal (pretty much normal anyway). I can remember not being able to reach to a certain degree with my arm. Now I can. The little I did use it caused soreness. Now not so much. There were many limitations to how I could use the arm. Now…well, there are still some, but progressing nicely, thank you very much.

So here I am. Seven weeks later. Amazed at the healing that can take place when you just allow the body to do its thing. And thankful for the grace that makes it possible.

The author of that grace and these bodies has much more in store for those who place their trust in Him. So if you find yourself in an ‘urgent care’ scenario and are tempted to start adding up the bills, the ongoing pain, and never-ending problems of what lies ahead, try and re-direct your trust. Who knows what seven weeks and a towel might bring?

Waiting...

The name of the game today was waiting.

It hit me on the way home from work. A stop sign. A simple right turn from there onto a two-lane highway. It can be a bit of a wait there at times. I was pleased when I came up to the intersection and noted that I was #2 in line. The guy ahead of me was taking a left, which can be a bit trickier for obvious reasons, but this wasn't going to be too bad. I just happened to notice the time as I pulled up. Waited a bit. A bit more. Started to marvel at the unique traffic patterns that elongated the typical stay at that spot. And then waited a bit more. Wondered if this was what it was always like at that time (I left work about five minutes or so later than I usually do). Waited a little longer. Couldn't he have gone just then? How about then?! Calm down, no rush. Just a bit more waiting, that's all. He finally had a clearing and went and I did the 'rolling stop' thing and pulled out. Noted the length of my stay there at about three and a half minutes.

Three and a half minutes.

Maybe a shade under four.

Some people (albeit not your normal, everyday type) can run a mile in that much time. An appropriate acceptance speech at an awards ceremony. Maybe an at-bat that goes to a full count. And I was idling and keeping the gas companies happy. But that three and a half minutes felt like an eternity.

I then remembered a phrase that I knew would greet me at some point during the evening when I got home. "I can't wait!". Somebody here turns ten tomorrow. Those words popped up last week and I knew they would make another appearance. And I understand why. Birthdays can be hard to wait for. Just before I started typing this out, the idea was even considered to potentially open a gift tonight. (She has the same birthday gift protocol as her father and that thought was quickly put aside...though she still 'can't wait' until tomorrow.)

Let's be honest. Waiting is a skill.

It's also one of the things I marvel at about the Christmas season. The waiting is over.

I try to imagine the typical good Jewish family at the time of Christ's birth. Properly taught and with a heart tuned toward the God that they were commanded to worship and awestruck by all that He communicated to them, they were in full waiting mode. The answer is coming. He will deliver us. He will save us. The messiah, the messiah...

And then another major life experience or two or three and a half goes by and there they were still...well, waiting.

As the shepherds made their way from the hills to the stable to kneel in wonder at the provision heralded by the angels (ANGELS!! In the sky and everything!!), they began to get a sense. The waiting was over. Perhaps that's why they went about 'glorifying and praising God' and sharing the news of what had happened. No more waiting. He's here now! He's here!

Downtrodden soul filled with angst, worry, doubt, fear, condemnation and guilt, know that He has come. He's here now! No more waiting!

Question Fer 'Ya

I came close to setting the record for the most infrequent blog posts in the history of mankind (or at least the part of mankind pertaining to the posting of web log entries). But here I am and here we go.

I've been struck lately with the myriad of ways that we as a family can spend time together. There are productive activities, fun times together, required events that we must tend to, and the occasional item that includes all of that and more. A quick list of recent Bower family agendas for time together include the following:

* back hall football
* library nights (most every Monday evening...)
* Christmas decorating
* movie nights (Pollyanna was the last one)
* just plain ol' getting ready for the next day
* reading in front of the fireplace (with a fire in it)
* game nights (I'm telling you...hire, Jace now while you can! The boy has garnered the Park Place / Boardwalk hotel empire to consecutive victories - as in like five in a row!!!)
* discussion of Bible / Advent / recent sermon-related topics
* much, much more

So, we have enjoyed time spent together in various ways. But I'd like to add to the list of ideas that rummages around in the back of my mind and make them available as needed. Here's where you come in. I'd like to know some of the memorable things that you have done together with your family. I would appreciate anything from your past or present or even future. And though we are obviously engaged in the midst of the holiday season, don't feel limited to that genre.

Would love to hear from you. Thanks for making life richer for the Bower household by doing so!

Travel Observations

Random thoughts that came to my mind as we drove to/from Greenville, SC today:

1 - I saw a vehicle with its business name and contact information plastered all over it. Odd thing is that it was called 'Highway 801 Towing'. Isn't that a bit limiting of a business name to have? I'm not sure to which Highway 801 it was referring, but the one near us is not too tremendously well-traveled. If that is the market you're aiming for...hmm, back to the drawing board, I'd say. Oh, and the really odd thing? It wasn't even a tow truck. It was a van. What exactly was THAT supposed to do?

2 - Thankful for a good bit of fog to hide most of the billboards about...well, you know what I mean if you've driven on that part of I-85 in SC.

3 - We've only lived in NC for just over six years and already, we have memories that flooded my mind as we drove through Greenville. Remember when...?

4 - Approximately 87% of the cars that were moving along in a 'dangerously unique' manner had drivers talking on their cell phones. Just saying.

5 - It just feels much hotter in SC. Closer to the equator, I guess.

6 - Lots of unmarked police cars out there. Glad I was law-abiding for the most part today.

7 - The cruise control on my truck fares a bit better on hills than does that same tool on my van. In case you wanted to know.

8 - Those Shriners. Good folk.

9 - Back to vehicles with business contact information. Here's an idea...make it legible! All I could tell is that is was some kind of company that does graphics. Not the best advertising when you can't read the font even stopped behind you at a red light.

10 - What is it about driving? Nearly five hours today doing nothing but steering the van and the first thing I wanted to do when I got home...take a nap.

Why We Don't Watch TV

We don't watch television. When I say "we", I am referring to the collection of Bowers that reside at our little abode in Mooresville, NC. And when I say "don't watch television", it is not a set up and an attention-getting way of really saying that 'we experience it!' or 'we let it watch us' or something cutesie like that. No, it means just that. We don't watch it.

There are many reason for this, I suppose. First, our TV set is broken. Second, that whole digital changeover thing caught us. And, then, well, we never really missed it. Here's how I would describe the journey we've been on.

I realized a few months ago that we hadn't watched much TV for a while. Maybe it was the beautiful weather that the spring months around here supply. Maybe it was the busy season we were in. Maybe it was the new and different activities we were experiencing (watching your one-year old doing new 'firsts' all the time...what could be more entertaining?!). Whatever it was, we just were not engaged in flipping on the tube. Then early June arrived.

We were in the process of reviving the 'we're moving soon' routine again. Get boxes. Load up boxes. Move boxes around to make room for more...boxes. One evening, Jace and I were downstairs while Sarah and the girls were upstairs getting cleaned up and ready for the night with William already enjoying his sleep. With a little bit of slight exhaustion and a fair amount of laziness, I decided to watch some NBA Finals with my son. You know...bonding. But before we could get to grunting and high-five-ing, we found out that all we had when we turned the TV on was fuzz. I figured it was a station thing and began wondering how they could allow such a mistake to happen. When all the other channels showed the same thing, I thought maybe a wire was loose or something. But we finally came upon a station that was airing a special program. It was explaining the digital change that had recently been made to all the television programming in our little neck of the woods known as (what...USA?, North America, the world? I have no clue how far-reaching this this is).

Months ago, I had remembered some announcement about the soon-coming change (whatever happened to February 2009?). I was told that if you had purchased your TV set in the last couple of years (which we had), it would most likely be fine for use after the change. So I didn't think much of it. In the back of my mind, I knew February had come and gone and I thought we were safe. Guess not.

No big deal, though. Get a converter box and we're back in business. With the soon-coming move nearly upon us, I decided to wait until we got settled in to our new home and then deal with it. Now on to reason #1 above.

Have you ever had one of those surreal moments that just kind of lingers with you? Something is going on and you see it happen in slow-motion and there's nothing you can do? Well, that was me a few days after we moved in. We have decided to make our garage into a family/homeschool/'other' room. And that includes keeping the TV there. Long story short, I REALLY thought I was moving both the TV and the base upon which it sets forward a tad in order to finalize the wiring and set up in the back. A slight shove forward confirmed that this was NOT the case. TV went forward, base did not. Gravity took over from there. In the longest split-second in my life that afforded me the opportunity to grasp at every conceivable wire protruding from various electronic devices, the TV met the floor. I was expecting a crash, a shatter and a hurried command to all within the household to 'not walk near that' with bare feet for a while until all was cleaned up.

Well, there was no shatter. Even the case of the TV just looked slightly off. But off enough, it was. Subsequent attempts at using the TV have proven that it is most likely ready for the grave. (I will be hanging on to it and checking every now and then, you know, just in case...).

But I am pleased to announce that in the midst of all this 'can-you-believe-it' activity, we have not missed TV viewing in the least. Granted, we never watched much anyway. And we had no regular programs that were must-see for us. But I can honestly say that we don't miss it. Kinda' wish something like this would have happened earlier, in fact. We had always known that we didn't watch much, and had always desired to even watch less than the little that we did, but we just never did much about it.

Let's see, I usually try to watch the MLB All-Star game, but survived just fine. We would watch PBS occasionally for various offerings they supplied, but our brain cells haven't fried and we have more than filled the time with other options. And then there was...well, like I said, we never watched much anyway. Admittedly, you may want to check back when football season is in full swing as I tried to watch a little bit of a game here or there (again, a lot less with the Vikings not being on to tempt me). But by this time, we've got so many other options, that your accountability check-in to see how I'm doing come mid-October may be greeted with a puzzled response of "what do you mean 'am I missing it?'...missing what?".

Now, if you will excuse me, we've got some family corn-shucking to do for dinner before we ride our bikes to the tennis courts and get some exercise together.

Pleasant Interruption

Working, I was.

Just sitting there at my desk today going over the training agenda that I was planning and formulating. And then I would practice on that which I was going to train. And then again. And again.

Before I knew it, a couple of hours had passed. It felt good to get some breathing room in the training formulating portion of my to-do list and agenda for the day. And I appreciated it because it is the type of work that I can do with some soft music playing in the background. Volume down. Lots of instrumental.

Then a song came along that made me stop what I was doing for a bit. It was a version of the song "At Calvary". As the sounds of the refrain came across my ears, I couldn't help but sing the words in my mind.
Mercy there was great, and grace was free;
Pardon there was multiplied to me;
There my burdened soul found liberty;
At Calvary.

I was instantly overwhelmed with the truth of what happened at the place called Calvary so many years ago. It still has a great impact on everything about me. I, sluggard soul that I am, was a recipient of God's abundant and amazing grace. He initiated a transaction with me that is far beyond anything that the most creative mind could ever think up, the most loving heart could ever extend, and the strongest will could ever accomplish.

I even verbally had to just stop and say to myself, "My sins are forgiven. I have been set free!"

Great mercy!

Free grace!

Multiplied pardon!

Liberated soul!

If you were to have been in my office throughout the rest of the day, you may have very well heard me whistling this very tune. And my heart and soul were indeed energized by this most pleasant interruption to the day.

I quickly returned to the tasks at hand. But with a zeal and confidence in things eternal. I invite you to likewise be in awe as I close with verse four:

Oh, the love that drew salvation’s plan!
Oh, the grace that brought it down to man!
Oh, the mighty gulf that God did span
At Calvary!

Inspiring Calculations

An insightful and yet somewhat troubling discussion was had around the lunch table this fine day. Sarah was enjoying herself at a bridal shower (congrats to Michelle and Justin!) and the four kids and I were munching away at various goodies. (Yes, my children understand my propensity to answer 'yeah, sure' when asked about including different food items outside the norm...popcorn, canned fruit, etc).

Then the question came. We were anticipating the celebration that we were to attend that very afternoon. Five youth from our church were graduating from high school and for the first time in quite a while (and a first for the kids), we were going to be there to experience it. As we discussed the responsible step that these young ladies and man were taking, the children quickly gathered that they too would someday have the same privilege, Lord willing. And then somebody who had math on their mind asked the obvious "how long until I get to...?"

Luckily, I believe it was Celia and so we started there. Twelve years. Sounds safe. William? Let's say seventeen. But as we moved the other direction, reality started settling in a bit. Nine years for Priscilla and seven years for Jace, perhaps? That is starting to get a bit closer. But schooling at Pilgrim's Ford Academy is like a well-oiled machine, right? Well, I guess the next seven years plus will show us whether that is true or not. But the discussion didn't stop there.

On the way home, math was still on somebody's mind, for the calculations turned to marriage and starting families. We have created the habit of solving simple math problems with 'real life' examples. Like, when Priscilla is eighteen (and supposedly graduating from high school), how old will you (Celia) be? And yes, there are answers for these questions. And yes, they know them. And yes, they can come up with more. So they quickly figured out how many nieces and nephews will be there for little William's graduation!

But it is the numbers attached to me that brought some unique motivation. When William graduates from high school, I will be 57 years old! I have been thinking the last week or so about getting back into a more consistent pattern of exercising. That short discussion in the van alone served as inspiration aplenty for just that purpose. And then there will be weddings and grandchildren after that!!!

See you in the exercise room bright, early and often...

Industry Insider Information!

I was doing a bit of research today at work. Reading up on the ins-and-outs of the advertising and marketing world. Interesting stuff.

One thing that caught my eye was a paragraph or two on 'consumer behavior'. Having just secured an agreement to purchase our next home, I thought it might be insightful to take a closer look. A psychographic method is applied that puts you, the consumer, into one of four categories relating to your psychological type. Think of a recent purchase that you made ('big' like a house or 'small' like a bag of potato chips...or anything in between) and rate yourself on the following:

1. Need-drivens: those with limited financial resources who are driven more by need than choice

2. Outer-directeds: those whose buying habits, attitudes, and activities are influenced and shaped by what they think others will think

3. Inner-directeds: those who live their lives according to inner values rather than the values of others

4. Integrateds: those whose inner direction and outer direction are combined into a functional entity

Maybe its a good idea to do some self-evaluation in regards to how you purchase things, products, and services. Just know that there is an entire industry doing that very thing and trying to meet you where you are.

So, where do you see yourself?

Very Interesting and thought-provoking

I'm not much of an economist, but I found this video clip quite intriguing. It is nearly an hour long, but maybe you will be caught up in it a bit like I was.

Food for thought anyway...

blah, blah, blah...BRETT FAVRE!

Good evening, cherished followers! I hope both of you have had a good day.

So I see where my Vikings are/were considering adding the oft-retired Brett Favre to their quarterbacking mix. And I further saw that the sports sites that I check on had an article or two (or...) with their thoughts, observations and inside scoops regarding this possibility. So the thought occurred to me...why not ME?

I don't mean suiting up for the Vikings. Although that would realize a bit of a dream for me and I'm only a few months older than Favre. No, I mean why don't I give MY opinion and thoughts about the whole thing. And then I realized the availability of this forum and here we go...

Um...

I don't care.

Really.

Pick a quarterback, any quarterback. Play the games. Try your best. Win some (hopefully a lot) and see how it goes. But, really, I don't care.

Well, that's about it. Maybe that's why I'm not a sportswriter.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Maybe this feeling of nonchalance stems from the following:
1. much joy was afforded me this morning just watching my 6 YO daughter play with my 1 YO son and make him thoroughly smile. (Brett who?)
2. my lovely wife left today to attend our church's women's retreat. Much prayer today for a rich time. I miss you, Sar, but I am so glad that you are able to take part in this great means of grace.
3. We've had a series of family celebrations in the last few days. We have even decided to make it an annual tradition to round out the school year. We had a special bike-riding excursion for Celia (Miss "I-learned-to-tie-my-shoes"), a unique evening where we all joined in a poetry reading of the works of one Priscilla Joy Bower (complete with poetry-reading-friendly dessert), and we ate heartily at a grand eatery to honor the 'ten essays written' accomplishment of budding blogger/writer Jace. I love my peoples.
4. Both vehicles went down for an eight-count but bounced up off the mat and are back in tip-top shape. I may have just mixed up metaphors a bit, but I'm still a little giddy from getting quality repairs for a fraction of the cost due to God's abundant provision of skilled people. (Thanks again Jeff and Dave!)
5. It's like just barely into May and you think I want to talk about football now?! Come on, let's pace ourselves people.

Thankful...

I thought I would just make a list of things that I am thankful for. In no particular order...

1. Sarah - she simply amazes me. And she is God's perfect gift for me.
2. maturity - as displayed by my eleven-year old son as he interacts with others and make decisions. You are learning well, Jace, even when it's not always pleasant to do so.
3. ingenuity - as displayed by my girls (ages nine and six) as they 'choose' to help me with a project that will elongate their wake time just a bit. I wonder where they got that craftiness from?
4. one year - William turned one over the weekend. Amazing how many blessings can be wrapped up in one nearly-bald little fellow.
5. neighbors who can fix vehicles - where would I be without them? (Other than NOT in my truck scooting around town). Thanks, Jeff!
6. Pilgrim's Ford Academy - OK, so I am a bit biased as the principal. But I love the freedom to take a little break from the normal math/history/reading/language/etc routine (though much of that will continue to some degree) to focus on grandparent-relationship building and a special 'Young Peacemaker' unit to train on 'responding to conflict God's way'.
7. examples like Samuel in scripture - think this guy wasn't something else? Check out what he did in 1 Samuel 15:33! And be sure to read the context as portrayed in all of chapter 15. Um...obedience = good, disobedience = bad!
8. Grace Community Church in Mooresville, NC - I've never been more pleased with what God is doing among us! My brothers and sisters there abound in His mercy and grace...and in sharing it with others!
9. the lack of quality TV - This is not a comment on the programming (have already alluded that in previous posts) but on the reception that our physical set gets. No cable/dish/etc for us. And I am genuinely grateful for I fear the amount of time I could easily waste were it otherwise.
10. the ongoing pilgrimage - we (Sarah and I) have always gone about life as if we are pilgrims on a journey (as I suppose we actually are). We have indeed 'set our heart(s) on pilgrimage' as the psalmist says. New adventures have led to much learning and growing. These are good things for an old guy like me!

Ever grateful,

Larry

How Un-American of me!

In order to pursue a new job opportunity that has come my way (now doing some recruiting...if you know anybody looking for a change in work scenery - or just SOME work scenery, go here for job info!, I have jumped into the social networking fray a bit. Facebook (Bower Family) we've done for a while. LinkedIn (Larry Bower) is gaining some momentum. And now Twitter (LarryBower). I have semi-connected with more people in the last few weeks than I probably have previously in 'real life' for decades. And I'm not sure how I feel about it all.

On the one hand, I have met and been exposed to some fascinating people. It is thrilling to connect with like-minded people in far-off places who I would never have met otherwise. But a part of me feels very much out of place. While I, and most of my e-colleagues, use these tools as a means to a productive end, there are certainly those who would appear to 'live' on these sites. Are they just extremely gifted and can accomplish much there and then move on to other endeavors? I'm sure many are. But some of the subject matter and lack of depth and...

Which leads to my current beef with our society and my not fitting in with it. I have seen some patterns develop over time on these sites. It goes something like this: a noticeable lack of activity followed by an obvious flurry of updates regarding the topic of...insert popular TV program here (American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, House, 24, etc). I chose to list these because they happen to be shows THAT I HAVE NEVER ONCE WATCHED!!! Sorry if that entitles me to status as lead-dweeb or something. But I must admit that I can't get over the amount of attention that is given to these and other like fare.

All right, I'm better now. Got that off my chest. Now don't get me started on the awkward similarity of updates/posts from those who very publicly proclaim Christ-followership and those who don't!

OK, time for me to go and confess...

Surprised by Sovereignty

OK, so I'm reading through the book of 1 Samuel now during my mornings. Now, I like history as much as the next guy, but I must admit that it can sometimes be a challenge to to be reading scripture lately and expect something, um, spiritually significant and relevant. I can be in awe of Hannah, Samuel and the God they serve. I can learn lessons of what NOT to do from those pesky Philistines and those frustrating Israelites. (Hmmm, remind you of anybody you know, Larry?!) I can even witness to the power of the words spoken and realized ("Who is able to stand before the Lord, this holy God?" 1 Sam 6:20; "We have sinned against the Lord" 1 Sam 7:6; "Thus far the Lord has helped us." 1 Sam 7:12). But chapter nine 'wow'ed me this morning.

When Israel asks Samuel for a king 'like all the nations', there are many biblical subplots that this activity feeds. I will limit myself (or at least I intend to) to a peek at God's beauty and power that jumped out from the pages of scripture and into the thoughts that fueled my day. I was reading along about Saul and his servant on their donkey-rescue mission. In true Old Testament form, we are given insight to varied details, some of which seem a bit much. It's like listening to a long-winded speaker that prompts me to want to speed them up a bit to GET TO THE POINT! For 'bottom right column' folk like me, the details can be a challenge at times. So instead of 'Saul and his servant met up with Samuel and were told that he had a special message for them', we are taken on a 'baker's dozen plus' journey through the specifics of donkey whereabouts, understanding parental concern, the going rate for words from the local seer, and the pre-mapquest method of getting where you want to go with the help of the water-fetching crowd. Then verse fifteen reminded me that these very particulars were part of the song of God's sovereignty that was being played out.

"Now a day before Saul's coming, the Lord had revealed this to Samuel saying, 'About this time tomorrow...'"

God had a plan. Imagine the rest of scripture without this episode. No Saul as king. No David contrasted with Saul and becoming the greatest king in Israel's history. No prophetic word proclaiming that a messiah would come from the line of that same David to save the sins of God's people. No New Testament. OK, maybe I'm reading a bit much into this, but the point is that huge things in the future get a little bit of a start right here with this unique meeting between Saul and Samuel. And it took lost donkeys, a shekel portion in the hand of a forward-thinking servant, and the brave admonishment from a young woman to 'hurry up and get to the high place!'

I would imagine that your day was like mine. Why does the truck have trouble starting again? What am I going to do about that situation at work? OK, I see what I need, but how do I get it? These, um, details are part of our daily existence (hey, donkeys just get lost...it's what they do). But could it be that God is orchestrating something beautiful behind it all?

Take courage. The 'verse fifteen' of your life will happen when it is sovereignly decided to be revealed. In fact, it's happening right now.

Facebook groups

Yes, I am / we are Facebookers. Join us if you'd like (we're under 'Bower Family' in the Charlotte, NC network). One of the funny things about FB that I've seen is the groups that are available for one to join.

Every time we get a new friend, I like to check out their profile for a few keys things. I marvel sometimes at the number of groups I have seen and how specific they are to a certain 'tribe' (sorry for the marketing-speak there). It seems as though any idea one has in their mind can be translated into an invitation to join with others who think/believe similarly. There's everything from 'So-and-so for President' to 'I remember the phrase such-and-such from some previous decade/era'.

When we get these requests, we generally ignore them. We've joined a few, but I mostly just don't want to either spend the time researching what the group really is and who is in it or I simply don't want to associate with it. But I was thinking about what groups I might form if I was so inclined. With that in mind, following are a few groups I would create if I had the desire to. I'd be interested to know which one(s) you would join. Let me know.

1. I think carrot juice is among the healthiest nutrients one can put in their body.
2. I place the receipt totals from my organic carrot purchases under 'medical expenses' in my family budget (see #1)
3. The older I get, the more I appreciate the truth and simplicity of a well-written children's song
4. I like sports as much as the next guy, but I am significantly opposed to any type of public funding for arenas/stadiums.
5. I use to brag about being 'hearty' during the winter months when I lived in the north, but I do not miss the cold temps.
6. I save storage cost/space by keeping unused furniture in my office at work
7. I would like to have the job where you get to come up with names for the new colors that they make.
8. I could not carry a tune if my life depended on it.
9. I think everybody should watch the following video and really think it through: check it out
10. I remember well the meaning of these four words: Kirby Puckett, Game Six
11. I have pulled an 'all-nighter' in my post-student days
12. I think it's easier to type 'How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?' than it is to say it.
13. I have never read Tolstoy's 'War and Peace' and do not intend to ever do so.
14. I wish people would properly use the phrase 'couldn't care less' instead of 'could care less'.
15. I bet you would click on this link just to see if there really is a group by this title.

Who's with me?