More on family identity

Well, I've been caught. I go posting about a topic that I'm still drawing conclusions on and somebody out there asks some great questions to keep me thinking. Thank you for that, C. Let's see what comes from tonight's version of my thinking/typing exercise.

Thought #1 (regarding the biblical basis for family identity) - First and foremost, our identity as believers is in Jesus Christ. It's not just in God, but specifically in the second person of the trinity (no, I won't try to explain that here!). Because it is He who humbled Himself to become a man...the perfect man that I could not become. Because it is He who paid the penalty of my sin. Because it is He who defeated the power of sin in my life. Because it is He who now sits at the right hand of the Father as my advocate and my righteousness.

As you can tell from these last few sentences, the theme for what God has done for me through Christ is individualistic. He saved ME!! He is sanctifying ME!! He has promised a future for ME!! And yes, like He did for His disciples, He calls ME to steps of obedience that have a 'Larry' look to them. But one of the great joys of the Christian life, and of the accounts of it noted in the New Testament is that once that conversion takes place, I am instantly relegated to a new definition of me...and it's noted in the context of community. The New Testament is written to groups and churches for the most part. This matches with the view of God's people in the Old Testament as well. Instead of a church, God used a nation to show Himself to the world. While there are certainly individuals that are used by God in both the nation of Israel and in the church, their basic identity was as a group.

As an aside here, I have grown to very much appreciate worship songs that reflect this reality. Just tonight, I added a playlist of songs to this blog for your listening pleasure (hopefully). The lyrics contained therein combine the reality of what God has done for ME ("I'm saved..."I could sing/dance") and that I now worship Him along with the rest of His bride ("oh, come let US adore Him"). I especially enjoy when worship leaders recognize this and sing a verse or two of a song with the individual I/me/my phrasing and then switch to the We/our realities as the song continues. (Sometimes, I just sing the words that way myself.)

Thought #2 (assuming that all that I noted above could be considered one thought...hmmm) - Hopefully, I've established that God relates to the world in the context of a group (nation in OT, church in NT) as well as to our individual souls. Let me address how He then instructs those groups to operate. I would note that the commands of God (given to individuals as well as groups/churches) understood the truth of things like family identity. The commands were given primarily to fathers with the idea that they would then lead their families in obedience. Teaching at the synagogue/temple/church was meant to be applied to everyday life family by family under the father's care and responsibility.

What about those that were not married or otherwise not part of a 'family'? This is where we as a society/culture have failed. I believe that the nation/church had an understanding and responsibility to care for all these 'individuals'. Children that were not married stayed in their parent's home and served the purpose, vision and plan of the family as lead by the father. Widows and orphans were to be embraced and cared for by the faith community. Sounds really odd, doesn't it? Well, unfortunately a few hundred years of, can I say it, thinking in society like a bunch of individuals has rendered this truth and biblical responsibility almost silly. I believe we would do well, and more closely obey the commands of scripture, by adjusting our thinking and subsequent actions to match with this.

Thought #3 (a word about leaving family to serve Christ) - The sad reality, of course, is that the difficult situation exists where family leadership and influence in no way reflects gospel-centered living. What is an individual to do then? Two things come to mind. First, to remember that our identity is first in Christ. Yes, that will lead to some unfortunate relationship breakdowns to which even Jesus alluded. But secondly, those relational difficulties do not excuse the disobedience to clear commands in both the OT and NT to honor our father/mother as well as other segments of family and society. Is it difficult to honor those we are commanded to when they are (fill in the blank to the painful degree that you must)? Yes. Is it commanded of us and subsequently something for which grace and mercy abounds? Absolutely. For anybody who hasn't experienced this yet, just wait. The presidential election or some other circumstance will bring it into full view for you.

Thought #4 (and with this I close...do I hear a 'hallelujah!) - Personal reflections from me follow...

I am convinced that my wife and children are just like me. Sinful and proud. It takes absolutely nothing on my part for any of us to embrace and pursue realities of individualism and self-this or self-that. It is in our nature. Therefore, I choose to pattern my life, to the degree that God gives me grace this day, to reflect family identity as a means to train us all in kingdom living. So, yes, it is possible to send an email to any one of us individual Bowers somehow. And within time, my children will probably have their own web site or whatever newfangled thing it will be in a few years. But for now, I take precautions to make sure that life is lived as a family and not as a group of individuals sharing a surname and an address. That includes how we interact on the information superhighway, in the community and in life in general. We need the training because I want my family to live now as we will for the rest of eternity...as a group identifying with Christ Jesus.

from Larry...on behalf of the Bowers

If you were to receive an email from my home email, you would be introduced to it. When you visit my Facebook page, you would also experience it. I trust that if you were to meet me in the normal activities of a normal day, you would normally come across it before too long. These are not accidents or oversights. I have, in fact, chosen to surround myself with examples that point to family identity.

So why do you get an email from ‘The Bower Family’ that can be signed by Larry or Sarah or one of our children? Why does our Facebook site look a bit odd and grammatically incorrect with listings of what “Bower is…doing”? Well, this is a thought for us that continues to be refined and perfected, but this is my attempt to shed some light on our thinking.

Everybody is attached to some kind of a descriptive identity. You are either a man, a college student, a Democrat, an extrovert, good with numbers, in over your head, a bookworm, the third oldest son, an ex-Marine, a Mariners fan, bald, a Muslim, or any number of other possibilities (is there, perhaps, somebody out there who fits all of these listed?!). Moment by moment, we are adjusting the priority level that people place on any particular description that fits us. I can easily switch from trying to convince people that I am capable, then caring, then appreciative, then knowledgeable about some current world event and so on.

As a Christian, I don’t take that particular label lightly. I am identifying with the Christ, the Messiah. It affects the decisions I make, the words I use, the activities I engage in and the thought processes I attach to each of those realities. Scripture is clear that I am no longer identified in the way I formerly was. Everything about me has changed. I am indeed a new creation. But this new creation has many other labels that are attached. And we have choices about the importance that we place on them too.

Here’s my basic premise for this simple attempt at philosophical gymnastics; As a culture, we don’t think highly enough of the family identity that we all have. We are too self-focused and individualized and this shows up in every corner of our lives. Often times, families look to me merely like a collection of individuals who happen to share a surname and an address. Of course, everybody is unique and to a degree that should be celebrated and enjoyed. But I think we can do a better job of forging an identity together as families.

I thoroughly enjoy the differences that Sarah and I have as husband and wife, as I do with each of my children as their father. But I seek to purposely draw us together in key areas while at the same time recognizing each person’s individual contributions. Using our name corporately in most instances is just one way. I want to set the example that I am doing things not just as Larry, but as one of the Bowers. My actions and demeanor reflect to some degree on everybody else in the household. In fact, before I do something, my hope is that I would contemplate its affect on my family. And ‘yes’, I often fail at this. But I, along with those whom I have the privilege of leading, seek to make progress.

So when I create a Facebook page, most everything in me wants to have any visitors or ‘friends’ experience the best of Larry that I can show them. I have a full set of interests, desires, and experiences that I could pattern my little corner of the world wide web after. But instead I choose to let all who happen by know that I am a leader of the Bower family. And we do things together.

Stars soon to be realigned

Have you noticed the earth not quite spinning on its axis correctly lately? Well, fear not, a solution is soon coming. I hereby commit to start my poor blogging habits again by the end of the week. We'll see how much defining of "end of week" we'll have to do. But I'm getting the itch and hope to get some of the thoughts floating around in my head out and onto the blog soon.

Don't worry, you can thank me later.